Counting down : 2 hours to Freedom.
How does one drag itself to work when it is so dreadful?
Why am I still here when I know very clearly that this is the last place I want to be in? I am sick and tired of telling myself that I have tried very hard to make things work but results have shown many times that I am no good at trying, or perhaps I was barking up the wrong tree hence creating more mess.
I like to call myself a workaholic not because I work more than anyone I know but I enjoy working. But being back in Malaysia for almost a year now, I cannot help but to admit that I find it extremely difficult to fit in the work culture here. Stories about office politics, back stabbing and boot licking are all REAL and the best part is I do not even know when I am caught in the midst of one of these sticky situations. With a background of MNC, none of this was ever part of the job. I came to admit that I am not flexible with the Malaysia office culture,and I am speaking from an experience of 2 relatively well known company located in Malaysia.
So what do I do? This is the question that have been putting me down for the past few weeks. Things have become so bad that I rather suppress my opinions. What good will it do me when the receiving party already have an negative impression about me. I have resigned but was retained by the company's director. Why not stay, I mean I haven't found a new job and my bank account is not sustainable. Oh my, was this decision a mistake. It's nearing the end of my 1st week at this new portfolio and yea, things are less political but you still bump into the same people whom I was once stuck in a sticky situation with. Imagine squeezing lemon over an open wound, but less. *cue dramatic face (I am allowed to have emotions, no? )
Trying my best to be positive about it all, I will allow myself to take things in baby steps this time. I would not rush myself into trying to prove it all rather than gauging what I am expected to bring to the table and move on from there. I will work on my flexibility issues and if that means staying away from colleagues and all social interactions, I do not think that is so bad after all.
Note to self: You have been having sleepless nights fearing the people at work. This have to stop.
Counting down: 1 hour 30 minutes to Freedom.
